What does it take to have a great relationship? Most people who enter into relationships ponder this question as they strive to make the best of their relationship. Here are tips for happy relationships:
1.Ensure you can tolerate each others’ habits, behavior and quirks
When people initially fall in love, they rarely have time to notice the odd things that the other person does. With time they start noticing odd behavior, quirks and habits. Culture usually emphasizes on love which is critical for happy relationships, however you need more than that. In addition to love, remember that your spouse is also your roommate, co-parent, co-worker and co-owner of all your stuff.
Never underestimate the place of friendship in marriage and relationships. Friendship holds as much weight as physical attraction and romance in making happy relationship. You will be spending a lot of time with your spouse and if you are not friends as well as lovers, there will be a lot of difficulties during these interactions. Most couple who have been married for decades usually claims that one of the reasons why they have been able to weather great difficulties and remain married for so long is because they married their best friends. Such couples usually say that looks and sex eventually go away but the friendship remains.
3.Understand that marriage is the great leveler
Some people get into marriage with misconceptions of superiority and omniscience. Unfortunately these misconceptions usually create great difficulties in relationships since a good marriage is built on mutual respect and understanding.
Marriage and relationships tends to expose imperfections that people have concealed for years. You need to embrace the idea that your spouse will figure out your weaknesses with time and seek to address those concerns. Most of the time your spouse will be the only person to address issues that others were secretly thinking about but could not tell you. Allowing your partner to regularly assess you will assist you to become better and work towards self-actualization.
4.Protect your relationship but allow for platonic interactions
Affairs have become a persistent headache for modern relationship experts. One of the last things that you can do in marriage is to think that you can be everything to your spouse. Unfortunately, you cannot, this means that you should leave room for other platonic relationships to exist in order to develop and enrich both of you.
While most of these platonic relationships are quite healthy, some get out of hand and develop into intimate affairs. To guard against such events, you should draw clear lines between people you interact with out of marriage and let them know about boundaries that cannot be crossed.
If you intend to have a happy relationship,you should guard against spending too much time with other people including family members or friends or colleagues. In addition you should respect your spouse’s authority and opinion especially if he/she do not approve of people they feel are encroaching on matrimonial turf. Basically there can be only one king and queen in a castle, all the others must take several steps back from the door.
5.Recognize when there are relationship problems and seek to solve them promptly
There is no perfect relationship and no one should ever lie to you that they have never experienced difficulties in the course of interacting with loved ones. The key to a happy and fulfilling relationship is to recognize these problems and seek to solve them over time. Neglecting problems and not talking about them usually makes them entrenched and harder to solve. This usually breeds resentment and bitterness. If both of you are unable to resolve the problems that you are facing, you can seek professional services rather than dissolving the relationship.
Unfortunately studies show that the ordinary couple waits for 6 years before seeking help even when the problem is clear to the people involved and only a small percentage seek for professional assistance. Ideally both partners should agree when seeking professional assistance, however if one of you is unwilling to seek help, it might be helpful for you to seek help first.
6.Find new and interesting things together
Since you will be spending a lot of time together, it is only fair that you find interesting things to engage in. Getting creative and finding interesting things to do may take a little energy, however the rewards are worth it. If possible choose activities that neither of you have engaged in before. This not only enhances the relationship but also brings out the best from both spouses.
7.Keep the humor
Humor is an important aspect of happy relationships and is considered a great cure for almost anything. Even in the darkest moments you can always find something to make you smile or laugh at some funny event or memory. To keep humor around you, watch comedies and be playful.
8.Support each other, always
Even people in happy relationships go through some very dark moments, during such times you should never ever leave your partner unsupported. You may not necessarily agree with your partner, but let your spouse always know that they can count on you. Holding hands especially when he/she is sad or broken helps to convey your care and concern for the person.
9.Learn how to disagree and fight constructively
There are many times when you and your partner are going to have major disagreements on issues such as religious affiliations and other life decisions. When you fight, learn to do it constructively without belittling the other person. You may need to take a break and come back to the issue causing the fight later when both of have calmed down and can discuss the sticky issue more constructively.